What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

I answer this question and one more question, “How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?”.

I am over 40 now. I have had many failures. The most influential experience is my academic failure and health issue in childhood.

Most parents think that education is important. Particularly, Asian parents tend to give strict rules and often have high expectations for their children’s academic performance. My mom was one of them. I took the entrance exam at 2 and studied at the top school from kindergarten through middle school (3-15) in my hometown. Classmates were from wealthy families, and they were very smart.

I am a slow learner and forget things easily. My mom repeatedly said to me, “You are stupid (idiot is more accurate), so study harder and get a good grade!”

I tried my best, but my grades were not good until middle school. I don’t know if I can link my grades to the health issue. I needed more time to memorize and do certain things than other students.

I used to take medicine every day. Because sometimes I had a loss of consciousness due to a neurological condition. I went to the regular checkups at the hospital. I was finally cured when I was in 7th grade. Since then, I haven’t passed out in 30 years.

I went to private high school. Going to university was not my original plan, but I promised my childhood friend to go to the same university. I studied very hard and passed the entrance exam. I majored in Spanish.

When I was not in class or working, I did volunteer work in NPOs. I played with foreign kids and taught them Japanese and math. Little by little, I realized that there are people who need me. I have become more open to others.

After moving to America, I studied English for 1 year, took the TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language) 9 times, and entered university again.

I was not good at memorizing things. So, I avoided taking tests at university. At graduate school, I had a lot of writing assignments. And one of the professors was a former judge who scored the speaking section of TOEFL. After I met him, I became not afraid of taking tests, and I felt motivated to study.

When I finished graduate school, I was 37. My school life was long, but I don’t think it was a waste of time. I acquired knowledge and built confidence.

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