Preparing…

10/12/2025

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Next month, I will stay in Japan for a short time. The reason is to spend time with my dad. I have written about my mom several times. Two days ago, we argued again. She asked me to stay at a hotel instead of her house.

This time, I booked a cheap flight ticket. The destination is Tokyo. In Tokyo, hotels and restaurants are expensive. A capsule hotel in the airport is $150 per night. In Nagoya (my hometown), a casual hotel near the airport is $50 per night.

Over ten years ago, I took my mom to Thailand. During the trip, she started talking about the past and blaming me. In the end, I got so irritated, and we went back separately from the airport.

I plan to go on a trip with my parents. My dad has a memory loss, but he is fine. I wish my mom could understand how I feel. I’m not asking her to do anything. I just want to feel her love.

Photo by 写真AC

@liliflorida on Tumblr

Dad, expensive, Japan, mother’s love, Tokyo

5 responses to “Preparing…”

Michael Williams

10/13/2025

<3 it is difficult to read such heavy resentment from your mother. I hope that your trip will be peaceful! Mike

Reply
1. LILI FLORIDA
  
  10/13/2025
  
  I can predict… 😅 This time, during the conversation, what she said to me was, “You have hurt me since you were little.” I asked her, “So, why did you give birth to me? Children are pure and innocent. If you are a mom, you should protect me. Why do you pretend to be a victim?”
  
  Since I was young, her attitude has been like that. I am always a bad person. She has never apologized for what she said and did to me. I stopped thinking about worrying her. 😑
  
  Reply
  1. Michael Williams
    
    10/13/2025
    
    i am saddened! but at the same time, i am glad you do not have to put up with such hostility!
vermavkv

10/13/2025

Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt and honest reflection. 💛

Your words convey a deep mix of love, longing, and vulnerability that many can relate to, yet few express so openly. I truly appreciate the way you balance your care for your father with the complicated feelings you have toward your mother — it’s clear that your intention is not conflict, but connection. The sensitivity with which you navigate past difficulties, yet still hope for understanding and affection, is both poignant and courageous.

Reply
1. LILI FLORIDA
  
  10/13/2025
  
  Thank you. 🙏 To be honest, I wanted to give up being her daughter in the past. But I couldn’t do it. Our relationship is very complicated. The good thing is, I get along well with my mother-in-law, and I’ve never had any major trouble with my friends. But my mom has had troubles. So I have to accept she is that kind of person. 😟
  
  I made a promise to my grandpa (her dad). As her daughter, I want to do what I should do. 🌸
  
  Reply

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